the curse
Do you know what is the biggest curse? To love somebody and not be loved in return.To care for someone and not be cared in return, and what if such a scenario was the pattern of your life? What if you were never held in high esteem by people whom you selflessly devoted yourself to?
What if all your life, trying to give happiness to people you cared for, all you could manage was bad memories?What if your bad always outweighed your good?
Moments like these and I recount and wonder what those "many" bad memories were.I try recounting the innumerable instances when a innocent leg pulling,my own moods,some act,some words made me give my cared ones bad memories.
What if it all makes you believe in yourself a little less? What if it shakes the very core of your beliefs,and every living minute you wonder-where and what did you lack?
What if you were only a existance to people who mattered,a thing to be tolerated,lived with but never to be trusted,never to be respected and never to be really cared about?Did your one act unsurp all the acts?
What when your most prized people start refusing you,when the camaradrie, the sense of ease goes away with your each act being analyzed in your own eyes every second?
What if the rifts start growing too large and inspite of the efforts to build bridges,you always loose,being reminded of your failures-to build bridges,to build friendships,to build relations,to build trust,to build respect,to build love.
As you loose every single person you ever felt close to ,you have this sinking feeling in your gut and you ask the most basic question of them all-am I a good human being?Do I have to live with the curse all my life?
posted by arimanius at 11:35 PM
7 Comments:
Intriguing writing. Have you taken a course? I like your style. Very conversational. Reflection is good for the heart and soul.
You keep improving with every writing! But more than writing this is a nice task of introspection. By the way you are a good human being. No need to feel bad.
You arnt a bad person,you just havent met the right people!and dont go looking for love,it will come to you.just keep your heart open.witche's promise!
nice writing...but pls yaar i hope u try n ans some of d questions atlst in d next blog....that'll help u too
questions ka overdose....
you are one of the nicest people i've met... and i'm not saying that just bc you are so much like me :)
i think you need to look back and think about these people who u've mentioned here.. were they worth the effort you put in? did they reciprocate at all?
sometimes we tend to run after things which are never ours in the first place... so we don't get them.. and because we want them so much we feel dejected and consider it our failure... which is actually not the case... you don't get what's not yours.. and if u get it you can not be happy with it...
think of the nice relationships that you've had.. think of shelly.. i think that is a very beautiful friendship that u have...
and take care... there is still a lot more to life
Self Realisation I would say. But never thought it through. You have your hands full and still want to cling onto more in the process you loose it all. I made this one easier for you. dropped the mud so you could get what you thought was gold. I am never afraid to come forward. But on this one if you realise this you would know where to go. Just hope its not too late.
Self Realisation I would say. But never thought it through. You have your hands full and still want to cling onto more in the process you loose it all. I made this one easier for you. dropped the mud so you could get what you thought was gold. I am never afraid to come forward. But on this one if you realise this you would know where to go. Just hope its not too late.
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