Moving Away

All my life I've tried holding on to things-people,memories and emotions, seeing them slip through like sand in my hand.The harder I have tried, the faster they slipped through.

The very people who were my closest turned into strangers overnight.Such has been a pattern of life, a viscious circle.Life has often left me at crossroads while people moved into new settings, into a new world, leaving behind a string of memories-bitter and sweet, and many unsaid and unanswered questions.

The one act which unsurped your ability to believe. How then, you forgive yourself?

You forget the bitterness and the anger goes away, but somehow you never forgive yourself.Months and years pass and you think the wound has healed, but it never does. Strange demons lurk at every corner, demons within you.

You wonder where the party went and why noone said goodbye.It's not that I havent forgiven,its that I wasnt asked for forgiveness.Its not that I havent fought to rationalize and make peace , its that no one understood the nature of the peace I made. It's not that I dont understand others moving into a new world, its that as a faded memory I am doomed to disappear from the circle i once belonged. As people move away your dreams and beliefs move away with them.Your notions of love,loyalty,fidelity,morality,innocence and friendship are warped, never to be the same again.

What was my crime I wonder, why this exile? Why take away my right to all the memories we had ,of the long nights and the umpteen messages, of the "Kya hai" and the hugs and the kisses we shared.May I have a moment on the rooftop?